These Are The Rewards of a Loving Relationship

First and foremost, thank you for taking the time to read this.

What I have discovered that could help many relationships out there is to constantly build my relationships. This isn’t just with my lover although she benefits the most. Because we get to spend so much time together we have found it ever so important to not only relax with each other but to also go on adventures, with and without the kids. We love them ever so much but as a couple we have taken time for just one another, to give each other the kind of love only couples can.

The greatest successes I have seen in other couples is that they are striving to spend as much time together as possible. Life is busy enough without taking time for those that you love most. I urge you the next moment you get to pick up and hug your loved one just stand there for a full minute or two. Do this daily and your relationships with those loved ones will improve dramatically.

Human touch is of great importance. Some people are more sensitive than others. The energies that are exchanged when you are close with another human are quite remarkable. In this day and age there have been such improvements in technology that those energies are beginning to be measured. Now we as a human race can really get a grasp on what energy is like within humans. We are getting closer and closer to being able to measure even that essence that makes humans be here.

I want you to understand. This is not just a metaphysical where only a few feel. There are more and more humans becoming more sensitive to energy. We can use this with one another to improve our relationships. Simply look into eyes and open your feelings. Even at eye sight a person gets a funny little feeling whether you connect with certain people or that you want to stay away from certain people.

A lot of this has to do with vibrations and whether those vibrations are positive or negative. A positive person does not want to be around a negative person. Although there can sometimes be an attraction there as well. Have you ever noticed how same and yet different you are from your closest person?

To improve your relationships, get in tune with each other. The other night I was lying my head on my wife’s chest and just listened to her heart beat. While lying there in the quiet our breath became in sync and we just felt one another. It was simply an exchange of energy that I have found vital in relationships.

Growing closer yields many rewards and I really hope that you take the time with your loved one to begin getting more in sync with each other. This can be going on hikes. Go to a bar or dance at a club. Learn something new together. Go sky diving. Do something that challenges you both and work with one another to complete great tasks. The rewards are unending when it comes to having a great relationship from little smiles to naughty whispers to even more fun. Take care of your lover.

You Should Know This – 4 Ways a Fountain Pen Can Make You a Better Lover

Have you ever laid eyes on a fountain pen? They’re truly beautiful objects but not very common anymore. Just like good lovers, fountain pens are rare things.

Before plain, disposable ballpoint pens became a dime a dozen, these beauties were courted and treasured by men and women alike. Why not return to that elegant and romantic period, when a passionate, monogamous relationship with a beautiful pen was commonplace?

Let your pen set you apart as a person of taste and refinement, and it will reward you with a whole new level of magnetism. Here are four ways a fountain pen can make you a sexier human being.

Express yourself.

All of you. Your wild romantic longings come onto the page as quickly and as easily as they come to mind.

One of the great advantages of a fountain pen is the how smoothly it writes. The nib requires very little pressure to release the ink, and if you adopt an elegant cursive style, your fingers can work effortlessly for hours. This means your passionate billet-doux or your erotic poem can continue just as long as your ardor and imagination do.

Display your sensuality.

Reading your letters and catching glimpses of you expressively writing will send a signal to your beloved that you are meticulous with your hands, your eyes, and your mind.

This is why we so often find artists attractive–they’re in tune with their senses. Drawing each individual letter and arranging words on the page is a beautiful art all its own. You could copy “Hey Diddle, Diddle” with a fountain pen, and it would be seductive as hell!

Give all of yourself.

Text messages and emails have no trace of human life-no crooked lines or loops written hastily in a stolen moment, no ink smudges from the warm hand that so desperately wants to touch.

Giving your lover a letter or note, beautifully executed by your own hand is like handing them a big hot slice of your heart. And a sincere attempt to connect increases intimacy, putting you in a position to reap generous rewards.

Pass the love on.

What’s the ultimate proof of good love? Sending more love out into the world.

If your partner finds your inky ways entirely irresistible, your passion could very well lead to procreation. And if that’s the case, you’ll have a beautiful, timeless object to pass down and write love notes for generations to come.

No pen? No problem.

If you aren’t lucky enough to get your hands around one of these delightful pens, you could always appeal to more primitive side of your beloved. Obtaining a simple quill requires only that you pluck a feather from a goose’s caboose. But, please, for the sake of your love life, banish the Bic pen.

Best Tips For you – If You Are In Love Then Go Ahead and Propose

Love is an amazing feeling. When you are in love only then you can understand how it feels. Sometimes you don’t even notice when it happens. If you are a boy and you love a girl in your friend circle, then you will realize it when her parents ask you to look for a perfect guy to marry her. If you are a girl and love a boy in your friend circle, you might realize it when he asks you to help him propose another girl. Everyone feels infatuation for their seniors, colleagues, neighbours, friends and celebrities, but that feeling is not true love. True love lasts forever and happens very silently, blossoms in your heart when you are least aware.

First understand that what you are feeling is really true love and not attraction or infatuation. Understand that you are lucky to have fallen in love, it’s a beautiful feeling. Once you are sure of your feelings then don’t hesitate to propose. It is wisely said that “we only regret the chances that we don’t take in life”. Take a chance; you never know you might be reciprocated with the same feelings. Once you are sure of your feelings go ahead and propose earnestly. Propose your love in a beautiful way.

Once you realize that you are in love, then your heart aches to tell the love of your life how you feel. You worry a lot about how to convey your message of love, how will the other person react on learning about your feelings and what does the other person feel for you. Anxiety and fear creep in. Should you risk losing the existing relationship by proposing or hide your feelings, this will be the question in your mind. All sorts of relationship equations will flash in your mind. When you are in love and not sure about the feelings of other person for you, be calm and spend some time alone.

Proposing someone is not easy so be ready to accept the answer. When you propose someone to become your love partner, you may get a Yes or a No or Maybe as an answer. Do not think much about the response that you will get, stay focused on what you want to convey. Propose with loving words and a bunch of beautiful flowers. Flowers are magical; they charm both men and women.

If you get “Yes” as an answer to your proposal, you will be on cloud nine. Enjoy the new relationship, the new bonding. Definitely this new relationship is different from the one that you were already in, with the same person. Be happy and have great time with your partner.

But if it’s “No” or “May Be” then you have to act with maturity. Listen what the other person has to say and understand his/her feelings. Be patient and calm, you will feel bad and dejected, but don’t give up. Give the other person some more time to think. Sometimes the feelings are not there yet, but you have sown a seed of love, it might grow sooner or later. Even after some time if you don’t see the love blossoming then also don’t be disheartened. You should move on in your life. Though it’s hard to let go off someone you love but surely you will be fine.

You will fall in love again. The world is full of lovely people made for each other. You will definitely find someone again who is exclusively for you, and then go ahead and propose!

You Should Try This – Live Like You’re Loved

Through the trials and snares and difficulties of life, when much of the time we might feel beaten down, there is an urgency in the heart, the soul desperate for God’s help, searching for a way to overcome the burden.

The heaviest burden is that of being unloved and, multitudes worse, unlovable.

Many would brashly say they never feel unloved or unlovable. Truth is we’ve felt those emotions; of abandonment; whether initiated in childhood or adulthood. Why is it that the Bible goes to great pains to say God never leaves us nor forsakes us? God knows how susceptible we are.

It’s okay. It has to be okay. It’s just the way it is.

Today is the day the LORD has made (Psalm 118:24). And today, each day, with great intention, we have the opportunity, afresh, to live like we’re loved. This is the choice to allow the truth to form up, move, and find its true home: within, dearly loved.

The truth of God’s inimitable love is known with assurance by faith; the strongest of knowledges. Nothing can rock an understanding of God bequeathing us life, in our unique bodies, replete with mind and soul and spirit, to be me and you, for the entirety of our days – and then, e t e r n I t y.

The fact of death is one proof of God’s love, that He would want us back, face-to-face with Himself, so we’re able to enjoy Him all the more; us, His beloved.

When we live like we’re loved, joy, peace, and hope are embodied within, and a humble confidence exudes our being, to live like a human being was always meant to.

When we live like we’re loved, because we’re not simply liked, God gives us love’s purpose to live that our souls ever crave.

When we live like we’re loved, God gives us love’s purpose to live, and finally our soul is content.

We will never be truly happy until we feel safe in our relationship with God. Then we live like we’re loved.

To live like we’re loved is today’s opportunity; to live in the truth like the best thing happened, because it has.

Living like we’re loved is agreeing with the narrative of God’s story. It’s not simply an opportunity, it becomes the only obligation instituted by grace, to trust and obey.

Living like we’re loved is like living for the very first time, because love is living.

Acknowledgement to Hawk Nelson’s song by the same name.

When We Are Talk About Love, It’s Means We Are Both Talk About Safety

What language does love speak?
By what values is love defined?
Love’s values are found in being meek.
Love speaks a language that’s kind.

Self-sacrifice for others,
Is nothing about needing to be needed,
It’s about giving ourselves for our sisters and brothers,
That’s how God’s Word is heeded.

Men especially, but women too,
Lead their own by humility,
Giving the love that’s due,
Is about ending all hostility.

As a man, like so many men, I’ve so often failed the very standard I’m discussing here, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for it. Our women – our wives, mothers and daughters – need our love to be spoken in the language of safety, of trustworthiness, of being meek enough to sacrifice ourselves.

Such safety is a refuge for the vulnerable; an exemplification of God’s safe love. But it’s not only our women who need it – or us men needing something of it from our women, though we ought to outdo each other, men for women, women for men, in the doing of our love.

It’s our kids that need it, first and foremost.

If us men can love our women – our wives, mothers and daughters – then there’s a massive positive impact for our sons’ lives, too. Is there a more significant legacy to leave our sons than teaching them to respect girls and women?

Love must come first. Before rules. Before discipline. Before ‘parenting’. If love comes first the apt requisite for rules and discipline and parenting is set.

Safety means declaring a war by peace on all hostility. It’s a making of progress by the powers of love that overcome all fear and division because love never fails.

Did You Know Relation Between Forgiveness and the Purpose of Life?

My earliest experiences of profound forgiveness came easily, because I saw my fault, but some of my latter experiences have been harder. They haven’t been harder because I was less to blame than other parties were. They’ve been harder because that’s the purpose of life: sanctification increases in difficulty the more we surrender dutifully before God.

Yes, that’s right. The more obedient we are, the more we’re attentive to discerning and doing God’s will, the deeper we’re taken in our unique cross-ward journey. No matter what or how much we suffer, we’ll still fall far short of Jesus’ suffering for us on the cross.

“They who wrestle with us strengthen our nerve, and sharpen our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.”
– Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

Now in swings the purpose; of forgiveness, as a process for learning. It’s operant engagement with humility, because we cannot learn if we’re not humble, and humility must come through subjugated pride – a very hard thing if we make a big thing of it, but an easy thing to do one decision of the will at a time.

The person we must forgive (get this: biblically, there is no option), or the situation we must reconcile (because it will drive our peace and joy away otherwise) is there to strengthen our nerve. For, without it we’ll go soft, and learn nothing. That’s not the Christian journey.

Those very things that are against us are the things God has allowed to be there. Only the difficult thing – like forgiveness – is sufficiently worthy of the purpose of life, because purpose must take us deep or it feels meaningless.

Here is my favourite quote on the topic; a truth that early church Father, John Chrysostom (347-407) propounded when exegeting Romans 8:37:

“Yet those that be against us, so far are they from thwarting us at all, that even without their will they become to us causes of crowns, and procurers of countless blessings, in that God’s wisdom turns their plots unto our salvation and glory. See how really no one is against us!”

The more someone is against us, the more God is for us through the grace of His Presence when we’re meek. Accepting the harmful overture is something that an enemy cannot reconcile. Victory is in the humble acceptance that what is, is. This humble meekness throws everyone off guard because it vanquishes the evil power they’ve deployed. Having a genuine heart of forgiveness and acceptance makes all the difference.

When life is particularly difficult we have even more access to God’s all-sufficient grace as we accept the hardship. Forgiveness in this context is central to the purpose of life, which is to learn and develop and grow and mature.

Let’s consider it a privilege when we’re exposed to conflict that causes us to need to forgive. The need to forgive causes us to stretch and mature, giving us a grand purpose.

Only as we wrestle with what feels impossible, forgiveness, do we learn something invaluable about life. God gave us the impossible to overcome, by our faith and His power.

In This Way, You Can Recognize the Symptoms of Obsessive Love Disorder

Love is a wonderful feeling, and the start of a relationship is such an exciting time of getting to know one another, mixed with the feeling of not being able to get enough of each other.

Wanting to spend time together is completely normal, but in a healthy relationship both parties need to be able to function and be happy, without having to be joined at the hip. When you become reliant on the other person for your own happiness, the situation starts to transform from a healthy love – to an obsessive love.

This obsession can present itself in many ways, and sometimes we may not be aware of it straight away.

  • Do you get jealous of your partner spending time with other people, when they could be spending time with you?
  • When you aren’t together, do you feel compelled to know exactly where they are, and who they are with?
  • Are you incapable of being happy or living a functional life when they aren’t around?
  • Have you ever accused your partner of infidelity with no evidence or reason, besides your own insecurity?
  • Do you live in a constant fear that the relationship is going to end?

These are classic feelings of anxiety and insecurity that manifest within people suffering from Obsessive Love Disorder. However, it’s not only when you are in a relationship that this disorder can be a problem.

Breakups are a painful part of life for everyone. It’s like a grieving process that we have to go through to heal, and move on. People who suffer from Obsessive Love Disorder struggle with letting go, and instead of accepting the fact the relationship is over, they obsess about getting the relationship back and truly believe that this person is their sole reason for living, and that life can’t go on without them.

  • Are you in denial about a breakup?
  • Do you constantly monitor your ex’s social media profiles to see changes to their status, profile picture or friends list?
  • Have you ever driven by your ex’s home, workplace or known hangouts just to see where they are and who they are with?

There can be many causes of Obsessive Love Disorder, with most of them stemming from childhood experiences of abuse, abandonment or feeling unworthy of love. Lack of self-esteem is a big contributor to the feelings of insecurity and dependency.

Whatever the underlying issue is, it doesn’t have to be a life sentence. Hypnosis, Life Coaching and NLP can have a huge impact on those negative emotions by allowing you to discover your true self-worth, while changing your destructive behaviors and beliefs.

Have you ever experienced any symptoms of Obsessive Love Disorder? How did you deal with it?

ARE YOU READY TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY?

The Words You Always Said – Nothing Else Matters”

“Trust I seek and I find in you,
Every day for us something new,
Open mind for a different view,
And nothing else matters.”
– Metallica, Nothing Else Matters

The vision of relational intimacy takes us into the nether land of commitment, to the point that, in the context of the relationship, nothing else matters. Under all conditions, including duress and impediment, commitment never fails.

This works in all manifestations of relationship: with God, with others (including with a special other), and us, with ourselves.

As we trust in our seeking the other, as they seek us through their trust, we find… we always find. We always find what we’re looking for when we seek in the commitment of trust, for like love, trust never fails – where, like with love that never fails, we never stop trusting.

For such a relationship as it is that has commitment, where nothing else matters, every day holds, for us, something new, where minds are open for a different view.
Intimacy comes when we’re close no matter how far we are away from each other. Even when we feel far from God, He’s so close. It’s the same with a dear friend all the way across the other side of the world. Oceans may separate, but when it comes to love, nothing else matters.

As far as intimacy is concerned, we’re closest to ourselves when we’re lonely; when we have to crave God, and when we’re ready to dig deeply into concepts of intimacy through our vulnerability – which is the courage to risk for love. And in all this, because nothing else matters than our relationships of love, we’ll do anything to connect; so good we live in an age where the practicalities of connection have never been more accessible.

The best of relationships happens when commitment says, “Nothing else matters.” It’s wonderful, we’re beckoned into such a relationship with God, where intimacy grows and may reign.

What we crave most of all is connection where beyond love nothing else matters.

Are You a Woman? Read This – How Women Try to Get Love and Fail

I’ve seen it so many times with women. I’ve even done it myself in the past long ago. Women seem to push away their men to try to get what they want and it doesn’t work!

Classic examples:

“He didn’t call me when he said he would. That’s the third time he’s done this to me. So I called him and said I wanted to end the relationship. I’m so destroyed. I love him so much.”

“I am so upset because he didn’t want to come to my best friends birthday party. He did say he was recovering from the flu but that was days ago. How could he not see this was important to me? I never want to see him again. I told him tonight it’s over. I’m so sad.”

“We made love the other day and had the most beautiful time together. He hasn’t called me since. I sent him a text that I never want to see him again. I’m so hurt. If only he would love me as I love him.”

In these three examples, it is clear that a woman feels humiliated, disrespected and unloved. Yet these women who are hurting seem to react rather than to sink in to themselves and see what’s really going on.

The capability to be honest with ourselves is a liberating experience but in those times when you are reactive and hurting, stopping to check out what is going on is unfortunately usually secondary. But if women did stop and take a moment to see different perspectives before they push their men away, they would make far less mistakes and get closer to what they really want.. LOVE!

If they were honest with themselves, they might understand the feelings inside them that are hurting. Their reaction is anger but going deeper than this there is sadness.

They might understand that what they really wanted to do in all those situations is to bring their partners closer and not push them away.

With deeper enquiry they also might understand that the situation might be totally different to what they are assuming. Perhaps your lover didn’t call you because he was in a business meeting and couldn’t get to the phone. Maybe he didn’t want to go to the party as he was still feeling run down. Maybe he didn’t call you after spending a magical day together because he felt full of your love and was holding onto that feeling or he could have a different sense of timing and take things slower than you do.

So if we catch ourselves in those moments where we feel infuriated we could take time to question all the possibilities of his behavior, and most importantly how this triggers our own insecurity. How we need to feel love, acknowledged and supported. Yet is pushing our love away the way to get this? Usually after we push them away we feel more lost than ever.

Now if women were REALLY honest with themselves we would understand that pushing love away is a subtle form of manipulation. “If I push you away, then you would understand what I want/you might miss me/learn your lesson/come back to me changed.” But there you go, it’s had the opposite effect. You ended it, it’s over. (What did I do that? Tears)

Women need to learn to stop shooting themselves in the foot. We need to learn to become vulnerable and feminine rather than reactive and hard. We need to communicate to our beloved what is important to us, how our heart feels and realize too that he has his own path and that he has the perfect right to choose how he wants to live his life. It might not be all about you. It might be that sometimes you need to understand what he needs too and give him the space for this rather than seeing his behavior as an insult to your being. Reality might be very different to what you perceive.

Reactive behavior never gets us anywhere but if we learn to stop for a moment and check out what is really happening we might give ourselves the opportunity to open to love and compassion. Take a deep breath girls and slow down! Don’t push away that which you really want. Use these situations to understand yourself and gain compassion and wisdom. That’s the reason you attracted this man into your life in the first place!

Usually You Ask For – Why Are Some People Unable To Move On From Their First Love?

Although one can have the desire to be with someone, they may find that they unable to take the next step. What this is likely to show, is that they are experiencing inner conflict.

And until the part of them that wants to start a relationship is stronger than the part of them that doesn’t, their life is unlikely to change. It is then going to be important for them to take a closer look into what is taking place.

The Hurdle

This could be a time where one will come to see that they are unsure as to whether another person would want to be with them. One could find it hard to believe that they have anything to offer in a relationship.

Thus, if they were to meet someone, it wound only be a matter of time before they realise this. It would then be necessary for them to put on an act in order to keep someone around.

Stuck

As a result of this, it is not going to be possible for them to move forward, and this could carry on for quite some time. Yet, if one is unable to take a step back from what is taking place within them, this is to be expected.

Now, there is always the chance that they will end up meeting someone and go along with it. They could find that they start to see themselves differently, and this experience is then going to be very healing.

Another Outcome

At the same time, it might not be long until the other person begins to treat them badly, and this is then going to validate how they see themselves. The relationship can begin to crumble and they might soon be back where they were.

Or, one could end up putting up with what is taking place, and they will end up feeling even worse. But if one doesn’t value themselves, there is going to be no reason for them to walk away.

It’s Comfortable

For example, if one had just been sitting by a fire and they were to go out into the snow, they would instantly feel the difference. This comes down to the fact that where they were was very hot and where they went was very cold.

In the same way, if one treats themselves badly, being treated badly by someone else is not going to be any different. This is not going to be something that gives them the urge to get away.

A Different Dynamic

This is then going to be no different to what would happen if one treated themselves well and ended up with someone who treated them badly. Being treated in this way would cause them to feel uncomfortable, and they would soon walk away.

If other people were to hear about this, they might say that this is how someone should behave. And if they were to come into contact with someone who stays in a relationship that is abusive, they could find it hard to understand what is going on.

Caught Up

On the other hand, one might not want to start a new relationship due to what they have recently been through. What this can show is that they have been through a breakup, and this has caused them to experience a lot of pain.

As while they are no longer with the other person, they might find it hard to stop thinking about them. Through being this way, they are naturally going to need to take a bit of time to settle down.

Patience

Part of them may want to find someone else to be with, but it could be said that it will be in their best interest to take a break. Once they are on their feet again, they will be ready to meet someone else.

And as to how long this will take can all depend on how they feel; there is not going to be a set time here. One could also find that they meet someone before they feel ready, and it will be down to them to decide if they should go along with it.

Too Soon

If they were to start a relationship even though they are not ready, they could end up using the other person. Having them in their life is then going to be a way for them to avoid how they feel.

Physically they will be with this person, but their mind and heart can be with the person they were with. Out of their desire to run away from their own pain; they will inflict pain onto someone else.

Further Back

But while they one could be still be attached to someone they were with a short while ago, it could relate to someone they were with many years ago. And this could be the very first person they were with.

When this took place, they could have been a teenager or in their early twenties, for instance. And if this wasn’t the first person they were with, it could be the first relationship that had a big impact on them.

Stuck In The Past

Perhaps the relationships they had before this didn’t last for very long, or just didn’t pull them in in the same way. Therefore, while one could be caught up with their first love, it might be more accurate to say that is was their second or third love.

A number of years may have passed since this took place and, while they may have been with people since then, they might have stayed single. There is also the chance that they are currently in a relationship.

Confusion

On one hand, one could look back on when they were with them and think about how great it was. It is then going to be more or less irrelevant as too how many years have passed since they were together.

But on the other hand, one could find that even though they still experience a strong emotional reaction when they think back, they might wonder why this is. Based on what they have been through since (or even if they haven’t had a lot of experiences), they might see that it wasn’t even that good.

The First Love

From a rational perspective, there is going to be no reason for them to be so caught up with what took place. Yet, when it comes to how they feel about the past, it will be as if this was unlike anything else.

One way of looking at this would be to say that the reason it had such a big effect on them is because it was the first of its kind, so to speak. It is then not necessarily about who they were with or what happened; it’s due to the fact that it was the first time they met someone who they got attached to.

Awareness

When one looks back, they can end up having an idealised view of what took place, as opposed to being able to see that it wasn’t perfect. Before this happened, they wouldn’t have had these experiences before, and person they were with would have been the person who they shared them with for the first time.

It could be said that it is not necessary for one to completely forget about their first love to be able to move on; they only need to get to a certain point. The Assistance of a therapist might be needed here.